steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:20:12 GMT -5
poop
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:20:34 GMT -5
poop
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:21:27 GMT -5
pee
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:21:44 GMT -5
shit
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:22:08 GMT -5
piss
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:22:23 GMT -5
fuck
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:22:38 GMT -5
cunt
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:22:54 GMT -5
cocksucker
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:23:09 GMT -5
motherfucker
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:23:24 GMT -5
tits
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:24:50 GMT -5
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:25:14 GMT -5
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:25:49 GMT -5
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:26:18 GMT -5
One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You son-of-a-bitch! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera... what's it look like? "
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:26:45 GMT -5
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work.
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:27:15 GMT -5
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know because, what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker! This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up!"
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:27:40 GMT -5
I was at the airport a while back and some guy said, "Hey man, I saw you on TV last night." But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he was just confirming that he saw me on television. So I turned my head away for about a minute, and looked back at him and said, "Dude! I saw you at the airport...about a minute ago... and you were good."
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:28:00 GMT -5
Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit. You would not want to submerge your head, nothing but fish going "Ahhh, fuck! I thought I looked like that rock!"
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:28:26 GMT -5
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:28:41 GMT -5
If you find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it, build a house. "Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!"
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:29:47 GMT -5
I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 a.m., and it said "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry. It's 3 a.m., and you're a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna walk by at 10 a.m. and say, "Hey, I walked by at 3, you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!"
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:30:26 GMT -5
The Kit-Kat candy bar has the name 'Kit-Kat' imprinted into the chocolate...that robs you of chocolate! That is a clever chocolate saving technique. I go down to the factory, "You owe me some letters!"
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:30:45 GMT -5
If you're watchin' a parade, make sure you stand in one spot, don't follow it, it never changes. And if the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction, you will fast-foward the parade.
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:31:15 GMT -5
An escalator can never break--it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience. We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there."
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steve
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Post by steve on Sept 20, 2013 20:31:37 GMT -5
I went to the Home Depot yesterday, which was unnecessary; I need to go to the Apartment Depot. It's just a bunch of guys standing around going, "Hey, we ain't gotta fix shit."
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